On July 8, my bankcard was blocked. And I got a phone call telling me of suspected fraud, I was also told I was going to be sent a detailed statement. As of July 27, I am still waiting.
Some students pointed me out at the Library saying, “do you see who is sitting at the computer’? Someone (a ‘he’) told people that he saw me yesterday. Two guys on the bus later had heard that one too. The tall head shaver pointed me out to the fat blond woman I have seen him with a few times now. A ‘he’ said ‘there is no possible way to get out of that.’
Picture me facing opposite this in the Homewood cafeteria with them watching me for 'signs, ' all seated on the far side of the tables to do so. Got the visual?
The public is discussing the fact that I am the one who found out what Dale was doing and that I not only understood it, but that I was the only one who did (and who does) and that I am still not acknowledged by anyone involved in it.
Maggie C. and my bank manager have discussed how scary it is. Scottish Rose and the H.L.O. worker who lives in the Speedvale housing complex are sharing the latest news together. Though he was a complete stranger to me at the time, the H.L.O. worker’s husband (or boyfriend, Mr. ‘Filberts’) is one who would walk up to me in the town square, stare into my face and ask me how is was doing ‘NOW.’ He was a total stranger to me at the time. Of course now, I ‘think’ I see his wife’s connections to H.L.O. and to Johanna the Homewood mouth who works for the same company and who kept both staff informed of bus drivers asking abut me AND kept Wayne Perrin informed of what was being said about me inside Homewood by staff. That explains why staff from the Manor would act it all out for me in the cafeteria as they struck the observation pose and repeated all the gossip from all over the hospital which was destined to be re-invented as MY paranoid delusions and hallucinated conversations. Of course, I still only “think this has happened and that it is still happening. Johanna has been one of the busier gossip spreaders especially if she thinks it will do her some good to get me out of the way and get HER into my cases. Oh, but that would be like saying that Johanna was operating with her own agenda wouldn’t it? We certainly can’t allow ourselves to ‘think’ that anything like that would be possible. Say, did you know that Johanna was such a dedicated Homewood special that she used to buy all the residential patients gifts for n reason other than that each and every one of them was “her favorite patient at Homewood. So, if you ever need anybody, you be sure to tell them to call me for you. OK?”
July 11, Skinny Minnie makes her hateful (but no doubt ‘Christian’) face at me as I step onto the bus. I believe the tall head shaver was giving a newer female bus driver some of the latest news today. Also, someone was telling Gary, the bus driver, that a ‘he’ is very concerned about my not going to visit my relatives. (perhaps we should get some of the old cab drivers and Zeller’s waitresses to express their opinions on this too, just so that ‘he’ will have a huge group of people who don’t know me at all, ready and willing to give further ongoing assessment s of my mental functions and personality disorders. And please someone, do keep my current landlord informed as he has quite a few tenants looking for news not to mention the trades people he must keep updated on all the latest crap still being spread everywhere.
You can’t have too many people involved in ‘helping someone, I always say!
Here we have a visual of the staff 'observing' me 'secretly' in the hallways of the hospital.
Have you at Homewood deciphered what ‘Lose the G.D. mob means yet? Or is it still ‘hidden’ from you?
My current landlord has once again shared his opinion of me with the guy who was fixing the roof at the back of the house and who added a riling. I think it may have been ‘Andre” again though I am not sure. In any case, his opinions are all being kept ‘secret’ from me.
It I said that “‘they’ say she (me) wants to scare us abut what we do,” and that “she wants to get her own way.” (And what exactly, IS my “own way?”)Is the group consensus and/or ‘authority’ still defining my thoughts, emotions and reality FOR me? Are they still diagnosing from a nice safe distance away?
The landlord puts on another performance for one of the trades people. He believes his performances are not understood by me.
For ten years now I have been telling him that if he wants something to use the phone and to leave a message about it. Also that if he needs to enter my apartment he needs to give notice of that and not just arrive at my door. (As the law tells him to do) The only time he ever does that is if he wants something to be done for HIM. Otherwise, he tells people that the tenants are just being difficult or stupid. (Allegedly)
So, one evening about a week or so ago, he taps on the door and has “Rick” with him. He tells me (for Rick’s benefit not mine) that he and Rick were just going to turn off the water for a few minutes and he wonders if “that would be OK with you’? He then says, “I should have called you and told you before but I forgot.” This is something he says each and every time he does this, whether there are any requests to be notified either before or after he does it. I gave him a look that said, “you phony baloney’ , which of course, ‘Rick’ wouldn’t understand the reason for since Rick is getting his version of who I am from the landlord, in ‘secret.’ Rick has no idea that the landlord rarely, if ever notifies his tenants about things he intends to do, since he decides FOR them, when they ‘should’ be in or not in the shower. All people ‘should’ be out of the shower before nine am (like him) and therefore there is no need to warn anybody about it. Likewise with fire alarm tests.
So the landlord and I both know this is an act he is putting on. We also both know that he has been told many times not to arrive at my door without calling first and not to enter my apartment without my knowledge or consent nor let anyone else in. it does not have any effect on him and again, we BOTH know that. But Rick only has the landlord’s ‘spin’ to go by and the tales he has told to others, which he of course DENIES doing. He considers himself to be my ‘superior’ and therefore his manipulations are unknown to someone HE considers to be his inferior.
None of these people can connect the fact that ‘we’ can’t stand them with the reality of their own behavior towards us. From their perspective on this contrived ‘reality’ what is as obvious as a collie turd on a snow bank to ‘us’ is a well concealed ‘secret’ to ‘them.’
In other words, they are deliberately duplicitous but so arrogant about it that even when they are told to stop doing it, they keep right on believing themselves to be ‘hidden’ and keep right on behaving the same way.
They are, in fact, deluding themselves, and then reacting to their own delusional beliefs about the ‘other’ but they are unaware of that. That is why it is so frustrating to deal with them. They do not deal directly. Everything is always a set of manipulative ploys with them. They are exhausting.
Self deluded people, especially when they are reinforced by a group that makes an agreement on ‘reality’ do not recognize their OWN delusional beliefs. That is what the 180 degree ‘switch’ is all about.
These people were (and are) sucked into Dale’s ‘game’ which is exactly what I told Homewood and C.M.H.C. people, LONG before the community which they all involved I the ‘consensus ‘ assault on me caused my breakdown of 95. Dale believes his ‘secret’ power, used to control ‘others’ to ‘create and define reality itself’ for all others, puts him ‘at cause.’ And it does!
If truly seen and understood however, he ‘realizes’ his ‘experience’ which he ‘shares out here in the world of reality’, will identify him as a sociopath. It is also intended to enlighten his victim (me) that I am a victim because I ‘looked for reason’ in HIM (where ‘there is no reason’) and it is also intended to ‘enlighten’ Homewood (and all other mental health professionals) that this all occurs because you choose to follow the leadership of a sociopath with a hidden agenda of domination. (It’s about domination)
This is why ‘life is a joke; it’s a game, which is defined as making a choice between being ‘winners or losers.”
This is the ‘Pyrrhic’ victory of Dale’s game. Everybody loses because we all chose to follow him, believing he was reasonable, including me for awhile. Then, as expected that you would, you decided to hide the truth and blame the victim, and that ‘switch’ is the premise of this power ‘game’ right from the start.
‘It’ is about blaming the victim for BEING a victim (like it’s the victim’s choice) AND excusing and enabling the aggressor (because you colluded with him and are taking care of your own interests) Since it is denied and concealed by the MAJORITY of ‘normal;’ people, then ‘It’ when ‘let go’ has infinite power which goes to infinite destruction.
We who are the victims of this power already know that. In fact, we tell you and tell you, but you refuse to hear It. Instead, you find the fault to be in ‘us’ for telling you the truth for ‘too long.’ You don’t find the fault to be in yourselves for endlessly hiding the truth about yourselves, no matter how much evidence there is that you are wrong.
So you give yourselves and everyone trapped in this paradox “with’ you, the ultimate ‘prize’ when you discover that the destruction of the whole planet is to be caused by you in a chain reaction of infinite power (Pi) that you ‘chose’ to ‘let go’ because doing so allowed you to delude yourselves that you are all the ‘winners’ in the game of life.
Those who tried to warn you were defined as ‘crazy’ and were pressured and invalidated until they became the other ‘side’ of your self fulfilling prophecy.
The mindless masses like to kill the messenger, don’t they?
In Dales’ training, the manipulations have led the trainees to say, “There is no reason in what I do.’
Why is that?
It’s a revelation.
Of what?
Of the truth process.
So what does the trainee understand?
Depends.
On what?
Upon his/her perspective on It and on reality. Is he ‘with’ the aggressor, the victim, or the manipulated group? He/she may hear that as a revelation, an accusation or an instruction for power if ‘recreated.’
It demonstrates how psychopaths do it without leaving evidence of intent.
It demonstrates how people get victimized by psychopaths.
It demonstrates how mobs are so easily led and how they will follow a leader based upon what they believe is going on what they believe is the reason they are given for anything, without questioning the leader or his authoritarian system, especially when ‘it’ is supported by group consensus.
Once you understand all of this and look back to where you started, you get it. That reality is NOT that which is arrived at by either ‘authority (like Homewood) or ‘group consensus (like the rest of the staff and the public they involved) but is that which you experience. When you see and understand all of that and recognize what has happened here, you have ‘experienced experience’ and you are now finished. Finished is defined as the point where all further search stops, and the only point where it stops, is the place you started. That is where you accepted the ‘switch’ as the starting point. The starting point though is within the one who created the switch in the first place; the one who is playing the domination game. If you supported his victim side, instead of his aggressor side, he would be able to give 'It' up. Remember the exercise about that? What you believe is happening depends upon the point where YOU perceive the action to have begun.
Do you understand Dale’s ‘prize’ line now?
Do you think HE does?
Know how to find out how MUCH he understand? It is called an investigation. In it you would look to find out exactly what he told everyone else and what he consciously DIRECTED as the “Director.”
No comments:
Post a Comment