Yoo…Hoo…Tommy and Patrick Jr.

I didn’t want you boys to miss out on a single gossipy word. . I know that you have a lot of people to keep informed and it’s no easy task passing all that contradictory information through that complex network of bus drivers, lawyers, university employee, cops, firefighters and paramedics. I am exhausted just trying to keep up with the idea of it. Be sure to tell Frank though so that he can pass it along to Brian’s neighbour who is always anxious to put his two cents worth into it. Oooo….and Jimmy, so he can keep all the city employees and the Prof at the University informed, so that he in turn can fill in everyone at the mall food court…well, you get the idea. We mustn’t break the chain of ‘secret’ assessment. Don’t forget to give ‘Intrepid’ the address too so he doesn’t have to pester library employees about it.

The most amusing thing happened on the week end. On Saturday, July 1st, 2006, at 3pm, the landlord used his key to let himself into Stephanie’s apartment, while she was either IN the shower, or running her bath about to get in. She obviously didn’t hear him doing it as he said, ‘hello?’ as he entered. Then he realized she was home so he hollered through her bathroom door to explain why he was in there. He was leaving something for her in the kitchen. After chatting through her bathroom door, (I am assuming it was closed) asking her’ how those taps were working’, he sauntered out.

“Perfect” I said to myself, trying to be careful that there were no ears pressed to the door at the time. (If there had been I am sure it would have been interpreted as “talking to invisible people”)I wondered then if I decided to say exactly the same thing to her, as I had to Cheryl F. if it would get the same interpretation. Remember the time I told you about him pounding on her door while SHE in the tub? I wonder if Stephanie would give it the same spin. I should try it again just to see what happens and how it comes out this time. A little psychological experiment for the ongoing entertainment of Homewood staff, and all their friends and relatives. “Well Stephanie, I see you’ve had your surprise bathtub visit from the landlord.”

Will Steph also claim I said he, ‘walked right in on me while I was sitting in the tube,’ as Cheryl F. allegedly told him. Of course, I don’t think that Stephanie lived with the group of gossips on Liverpool St. as Cheryl did, so she wouldn’t be adding more to what she already ‘thinks’ she understands from back then. She doesn’t have all that old crapola to help her justify the spin. Still, if she did tell people about it, I wonder if anyone would think it sounded familiar somehow. I wonder if they would think they had heard something like that several times from several different people? Would they think there might be something to it in that case? If someone told my landlord she said that, would he have to justify it by telling, say, Doug, who works for Tina, so that Doug would feel obligated to act out in some way as a way of bonding with the landlord? Wouldn’t it be interesting to test the same statement again and see if we got identical outcomes? Would we all do the ‘shift’? Like; poor landlord. He sure does have awfully bad luck renting to all those crazy and /or stupid women doesn’t he? Another great joke in the on going saga of crazy Pat!

Also, this month and last:

One of the A.A. members who lived in the house next door for awhile and used to gossip with the neighbors, was seen in the square talking to john (the guy who says I, ‘just think I am the cat’s ass.’ (Another Manor connection)

You know what I think is really funny? When Earl, the now retired bus driver said he didn’t like it when the other bus drivers talked about all of this over the radio. (Back then, I did not know who “Earl” was you see, but NOW I do, and I think I know why he didn’t like it too) No doubt the reason he didn’t like it was because his source was likely Marg, from the Manor, through her sister Laura and he brother-in-law, Steve. Earl is a friend of theirs. They also used to rent a house from Donna H. who employed handy man Harry, whose wife (or live in girlfriend) worked at the Silver Dollar, where I “thought” people I did not even know (back then) were talking about me. That “proved” I was paranoid and helped to get me my psychiatric label. Now, are we all starting to see the connections I thought I saw which I couldn’t explain before? Are we? Huh? This is all a big secret you know so whatever you do; don’t TELL anyone in case I find out!

Anyway, the bus drivers got into the habit of turning their radios down low whenever I got on the bus and warning each other of my presence so that I wouldn’t see them or notice them. Then, some of them, including Earl, the secret keeper, would pass the latest news out of Homewood on to the bus passengers who were sitting in what I like to call, the jump seat. (That’s sort of like the flight attendant’s seat would be on a plane.) It’s the seat opposite the driver and closest to the front door. It’s where all the socializers like to seat; you know; the normal people.

They have all been hiding like this for thirteen years now, not unlike Patrick Jr. Tommy and the boys used to do it at the Eaton Centre food court with Chris and Andy. They even once figured out that I went out in just sat in places, having a coffee, (like Stone Rd and the town square) just so that I could pick up all the news about what was going on with Homewood, which I did, by listening to the whole town going on about it.

By the way, saying ‘the whole town’ isn’t meant to be taken literally. It’s an exaggeration, (though not by much I’m afraid) used to make a point. You know, like when ‘he’ said, ‘I told one person and the whole town got involved in it.’ I’m sure that whatever ‘he’ said that, ‘he’ also didn’t literally believe ‘every single person.’ So if ‘he’ is not ‘delusional and paranoid when ‘he’ says that, I think we might assume the same is true for me.

What do you say we dump the double standard here and try a little reality for a nice change of pace?

Someone has said, n the street, ‘It’s like she’s their translator.’ They probably mean because I speak both schizophrenese and psychiatrese. (They are closely related ‘languages’ you see.)
Tell ‘Intrepid’ his best disguise is that hat. Even his friends don’t know him in that thing. You know the one. The Goombah hat. (Did you notice I don’t have the yellow coat anymore? Guess why. ‘They’ say no one knows what to do now. SURE they do. I told them in an e-mail years ago, which they all chose to ignore, as always.

A woman near the courthouse remarked that ‘Homewood hasn’t even apologized for it.’ ‘Imagine’! (I don’t have to imagine anything actually. I am living it.) ‘They’ say that even the professionals are arguing about it now.

One of the men, who used to eat his meals at Homewood cafeteria (and who perhaps still does) was sitting with the Vin Joy shoe guy last week. Shoe man doesn’t like to miss out on any news, so maybe you could give him my blog address too. One day, not that long ago, as I walked by the store, the tall skinny guy with the black pony tail was playing the ‘there she is’ game. Later, I saw him and shoe guy chatting together over coffee at the Cornerstone restaurant. Maybe you could pump them for information. I am sure that I am missing out on all kinds of versions of my ‘reality’ basically because, as I said all those years ago on my answering machine to Dale and the then staff of the Hamiltons, “it’s just my life, so it’s none of my business, is it’?