Harper Valley 4

Now let’s take an up close look at the complete stranger to me who has spent quite a bit of time adding to the rumor mill.

She is a senior woman about five foot three or four, very thin, with short straight gray hair and she’s is quite the judge.
When I get on the bus, which she also takes, she frequently screws up her hateful face at me. (No doubt, she is certain that she knows. Ha ha ha. Ask Dale to explain the concept to you) I will call her Skinny Minnie for the sake of giving her a unique identity when I do not know her name.

Minnie is one of the locals who gets her versions of me from a variety of sources. I have witnessed her ‘getting it (har har har) from Terry J. of the Elliot broadcast news, when terry was riding the bus. (after which the duplicitous terry’s little smirk appeared) remember now Normal people, your job is to “invalidate everything I say in order to validate yourselves.’ You want to keep ‘game boy’ smirking too don’t you?

As a matter of fact, I saw ‘game boy’ on the bus today. He doesn’t seem all that thrilled right now. Perhaps he hasn’t had his power fix for awhile.

Anyway, back to Minnie. I believe she also gets some of her gossip from her hairdresser which she may well get passed along from Myrna G. ,Mary G.’s auntie. Minnie has in turn defined me, quite nastily by the contempt on her face, for Beth H. Beth H. is the woman I told in 99 that I had been forced out of my job at Homewood by Dale who was doing the game thing and I showed her the book I found him QUOTING from, while the boys from the law office of M * Mc sat at lunch in the Eaton centre smirking some more. (Guelphites are very good at smirking and eavesdropping and deluding themselves that they are hiding while they are doing it. One day recently I saw our Minnie informing Mary W., of what she is passing around and the two of them sat and shook their little heads together. Many of you may remember Mary W., she is the now retired ward clerk who I claimed was sitting and listening to my answering machine recordings which I was leaving for Dale and the then staff of the Hamiltons in the ‘joke/game/intervention (depending upon who was doing the defining.)

So you can see the irony in all of this right? There is Mary gossiping away and when she sees me she pretends she does not know a thing and I must not say anything because if I do, I can get further treatment, which by the way, I have heard recently Homewood thinks they should do anyway. Someone defined my fight for the truth as ‘obsessing.’ From my point of view Homewood is “obsessing’ about denying reality to the point where most of them look quite mad to me. So round and round it goes, year after year, none of the people involved able to connect their obvious behavior and gossiping to my observation and reporting of same, all the way back to at least 93. Why not? Group delusion that’s why. They HAVE to believe they understand this better than I do otherwise they would have to know they all acted out like abusive assholes against someone they were manipulated to see that way. What? Could all these superior people possibly be manipulated without their knowing about it? Well, did you know that this is done by the psychiatric profession as experiments with staff occasionally? Please read about Cameron’s CIA experiments in Canada.

Remember the bus driver/Homewood staff announcements of 1994? “No one is going to say anything to her and that way she will just have to think she imagined the whole thing.”
Real sane huh?

No one admits to anything now either, even while they keep right on behaving the same way, keep right on being oblivious to themselves and keep right on being unable to connect their stupid behavior with my reporting of same. Instead, they just deny it all, like every other dysfunctional group.

Should I be expecting a nice pair of handcuffs to help me in changing my mind and agreeing not to know what I know so as not to offend those with all the power? I have been told how appropriate it would be of me to speak of it.
I have heard that lately; another intervention has been discussed as a preventative measure to make sure I am not psychotic again. They are ‘sure” it will happen again and in fact, if they have to pressure me until it does, I think they just might do that so that they can be ‘always right and never wrong.’’’ Ha ha ha (Watch game boy smile at that one, right out of his asshole training manual)

You see in my own fascinating case, Homewood, CMHC, the university, see no connection between all their gossiping, assessing , observing and diagnosing and the destructive effects of that on my very real life. But then that shouldn’t surprise anyone as they never do, psychiatrists are a remarkably strange and insular group, out of touch with the most obvious of realities. But they also get protected in that state by all the underlings who just go along with it.

For them it’s not cause AND effect either. Its cause OR effect just like the numbed out well trained automaton who sucked them all into the game. I admit I got sucked into it too but at least I didn’t stay blind to it. The denial that this is a GROUP event is what keeps it from being seen. Remember what Dale’s so called training told you? “You will fail to see what is right in front of you.” That ‘OR’ is about the separation between an imaginary ‘them’ and ‘us’ which denies the connection exists. It is a demonstration of the mindless masses who see no connection between what they do and say as a group and the destructive results of it to the person they do and say it about. This is why the psych. Prof who did the analysis of dales’ game says, “it is designed to have a very specific effect’ and ‘It’s about hate,’ ‘group catharsis’, ‘feeling powerful,’ ‘targeting victims’, ‘setting people up’, ‘blaming the victims and excusing the guilty.’
(This is also what Thomas Szasz says about the reality of ‘schizophrenia.’)

It’s about denying the reality of the lives of people who complain about abuses. It is about covering the whole thing up, even though half the town knows about it, and pretending it never happened and watching all the nincompoops go along with the cover up!
It is abut people who demonstrate they can’t be trusted using the ‘180’ just like dale did, and telling everyone they must cover it up because THEY can’t trust ME.
It is about some subtle and some not so subtle punishments of me by individuals out of this mob mentality fro ‘blaming others’ or ‘attacking poor Dale’’ or ‘causing all this trouble for others’ or ‘being lazy and incompetent’ or ‘not even caring about family’ etc you know,‘ the existentialism Dale discussed briefly with me before he put me through his ‘exercises’ the existence of which has been denied by one and all.

It is also about being discussed by people like Skinny Minnie as a thief, or a drunk, or an addict, or a porn star, or bi sexual or whatever other story the town morons have decided to invent to justify that group catharsis they are getting using me as the object of their collective contempt.

How do I ‘prove’ the covert story telling? How do I argue my case when it is a ‘secret’ or denied altogether? How do I stop a mob? To whom am I obliged to explain my life so they will stop their group nonsense? Tell me experts. I’m all ears. Do I get my UNDERstanding OK now Dale? Did you know that I showed Suzanne K. your answer right after you passé it to me I Homewood dining room? Do you all know that that written response is the evidence that EdPerez didn’t want when I saw him in January, 2001? What exactly did he tell Jill H, it was? Let’s all ask him shall we? Does that boundary violating contemptuous little female dog get it yet herself? How about Diane? Does she get it? Is it hilarious to her too? While we are at it, let’s also ask him what he thinks ethics and integrity actually mean. Now that I have turned down my disability pension twice because after Homewood told my employer I was dangerous and incurable I didn’t get any work, imagine how hilarious it is going to be when I am out on the streets. (Don’t forget o blame me no matter what I say and do not let up on that. You have your own interests to protect and that must come first. The current community assessment is that I am just exaggerating. Actually lunkheads YOU are minimizing.)

So let’s all check with Dale and see if we all get it yet. Don’t worry, I won’t show any overt signs of anger or fear nor attempt to get too much ‘attention’ to this matter because I know that I can be ‘helped’ again if I do and if I try to get away from them, I can expect my picture to appear on CKCO news and also in the Guelph Mercury telling the world what an insane lunatic I am and urging everyone to call the police as I am suspected of wanting to feel bad. That because ‘patient confidentiality’ is so very important to Homewood. By god feeling bad is not allowed in Guelph; not any more. Not without being labeled and treated for it by the psychiatric empire. No more emotional outbursts allowed. The Faith has decided to put a stop to it.

So, are you sort of getting the understanding now about why Dale’s eyes were always glowing with amusement and the little smirk was on his face as all of you speculated amongst yourselves about me? Do you get it Bev L.? How about you Wanda do you get it? How about you Leslie? Paul?
You were all ‘interpreting’ his abstractions they way you wanted to do it. That is what he expected you to do. That is part of the training exercises. He was ‘observing the action between the two sides.’ He was playing ‘the two sides’ off against each other after starting his bait and switch ‘game.’ Does Dale know it’s a bait and switch? I don’t now. I DO know he likes to feel he is a ‘winner’ in the ‘game’ of life, because he tells people (allegedly) that his investment in his asshole training is one of the best things he has ever done. Now WHY would he think that do you suppose? Is it because he gets to be the ‘director’ of reality itself? Can you imagine being so absurdly needy that you would fall for such crap? Doing damage to people is this jerk’s idea of a good time. He was enjoying listening to all of you repeat all of the same things he had already ‘experienced’ inside his own training, the outcome of which was already known to him and so it was predictable. What was not predictable was the fact that his target knew something about his game, and would in fact, understand what it meant better than anyone else.

Every now and again, some asshole gives himself the ‘prize.’ That’s what the line really means to his’ hero.’ You see, in the game, only the one at the top of the pyramid cannot have any fault found in either himself or his system. The creator of the game ‘won first, THEN he ‘played the game.”

Dale’s hero told his trainees “It can turn out any way you want it to. His hero is ‘leveling’: He is telling the truth on an abstract level, in fact, he is demonstrating It. He is also ‘leveling’ concretely; he is either creating equality by teaching a lesson or he is cutting everyone down to a size which is beneath him. It is the collective choice of the trainees. What It (and all the words) means depends upon your ‘perspective’ on it. If you hear it as a revelation, one thing; as an accusation, another; as an instruction, yet another. If you were a sociopath, how do you think you would hear the abstractions at the nexus of meaning?

What is still happening here, thirteen years after my protagonist started his game, is a demonstration of’ the infinite nature of the training” or ‘Pi” which just goes on and on in it’s infinite loop of EITHER destruction or healing , depending upon which ‘choice’ you make, what motivates you, and what you see as the starting point. In order to stop the ‘effects’ it is necessary to recognize the switch at the start. Then you DO something about it and what you do is turn it back around one hundred and eighty degrees. If you don’t see that and DO it, you can’t get out of this game. It has to be exposed for what it is to stop it. The guy who created it knows that.