Seeking (Your) Attention: It is About Our Agreements

Drs. Geoff. D. , J., Shashi (who likes to keep all the staff involved well informed) Deborah E., Brian F., Alan E., Kwame B., Ken K., and, of course, Edgardo P. the Captain of the Ship, always enthusiastically promoting Plan 9 from the United States, which as we all know is about involving virtually everyone in the great "schizo hunt." (which is a lot like a snipe hunt) I feel I simply MUST include Dr. Reid F. in this though also as even though I had no contact with him at all, I heard rumours about him, including that he was one of two ment to check and see if I got the cable TV they sent me as part of their little "psychic" test. Homewood knows this of course and has for many years. It also struck me that it is a little too coincidental that so many of the staff members gossiping like magpies were from HIS former unit and many of them were keeping the community and my protagonist informed like good little followers. By the wya folks the "psychic" bit as a repeating back my own information to me through someone esle is also right out of the nurse from hell's "special" training. Another amazing coincidence. (I didn't want to miss a chance to say "amazing.")

Here is a little test of your abstract thinking skills from Paranoid Patty:
Can you all tell me what this means? " Too many cooks spoil the broth."
Let's try a narrowly focused little "exercise" based upon reality and we will see if we can help you experts make that elsusive connection. Looking back to 1995 and after my release from the whacko ward to take a second look at my "delusional" belief that my neighbours are assessing me and reporting to others on THEIR interpretations of my life and understanding.
Heidi M., apartment 2 overhead is on the phone to someone saying: "I think she is sleeping and cooking at the same time. She's going to start a fire if she does that."
( I was cooking. I was also reading while I was doing it.)

A very short time later:
Steve P. form Transitional Care, Homewood , calls me to make a spot sanity check ( what I used to refer to as his "Hi. I was just wondering. How crazy are you today?" Phone calls) and "'casually" remarks: "You won't sleep while you are cooking or anything will you?"
Crazy me sees connections in this. Of course, the sane ones, acting "covertly" see no connections between themselves watchin, assessing, and reporting and MY "delusional" beliefs that I am being watched, followed, assessed or reported on by my neighbours, landlords and total strangers.

In fact, with psychiatry, my belief that this is what is, in fact, happening, "proves" that it is NOT happening, and therefore, they MUST involve the community as (according to Cheryl F. #2 neighbour who just moved out) "That is the only way they can "help" them." (us nuts)
The Ol' Chicken/Egg Paradox. Created by psychiatry and supported enthusiastically by the fearful masses following the leader. For us, the more we perceive the bloody obvious and dare to state it, the more the mindless masses will hear the "madness" they are taught to hear which will require a "covert" operation to "help us to learn to deny it all.... just as they have learned to do so well. . For this, folks is the "consensus" reality. We are told that resistance to it is futile; that we must comply. ( The Borg School of Psychiatry)

A Scene From Last Week:

As I sat in my apartment watching T.V. I decided to say out loud:
"What a moron you are. " The guy who likes to think of himself as an amateur psychiatrist and my "superior" frequently stands outside my apartment door with his ear pressed to it, listening for 'signs" , or checking to see if I am home, just as he was right then. He laughed out loud at that moment.
You can bet he has not connected the "you" in my statement above to himself. Those who see themselves as my "superiors" operating from behind the mask of their own arrogance never do. Instead, they "interpret" everything to fit into their grandiose beliefs about themselves. He would the have concluded something like:
"She's talking to the T.V., or invisible people, or perhaps expressing her opinion about herself. "

He is kind of close actually. I am talking to people who, despite massive amounts of evidence to the contrary, continue to believe themselves to be "invisible" (and usually inaudible) to me.

I must repeat myself here:

"What a moron you are." For knowing that I know you and what you do, you continue to do it while denying that you are, or that I am aware, of what I have already told you, I am aware, and have asked you to stop doing. Your self deception just boggles the mind.