Back To The Landlord/Tenant Community Assessment Team

But Remember This Is All Highly "Confidential"
So Allegedly...

Cheryl F., who used to be the tenant overhead has now moved on but not without offering her assessment and "help" to the mix. You can never get enough input from others or enough "help" I always say. I am sure the nurse from hell who got everyone's opinion as part of his "secret" plan would agree with me. in any case, though she was willing to share with others, she would not communicate directly with me. She had to call for more "help" to ask how she should proceed for example when I asked her directly if she was related to anyone who worked with the GTC named Randall....It wasn't a difficult question I didn't think and yet it had to have a committee called to handle a response. She was asked if she had said anything yet and she assured the assessment committee she hadn't ...Whew! That was a close one wasn't it? She almost had to relate as an equal there for a minute. How scary!!!

In any case, she has now moved out and a younf=g woman has moved in and already the intrigue continues. Living with these people is like living in a never ending episode of "Alias"...who will we all pretend to be today and what disinformation and misdirection will we add to the great melodrama of our pathetic little lives. let's turn everything into an unknown event with hidden meaning. otherwise, we might have to think we are just living boring lives in which everything means what it means. What fun what it be to gossip about that? My landlord had to discuss my mental state with the new tenant of course, including "instructions" on how to handle me. ( a few of his derisive little laughs were thrown in to add to the mystery. Of course the new tenant knows nothing about this since the "mystery" is an "interpretation" of previous "interpretations" of other tenants who also don't know me but they have "heard" things, form other people who don't actually know me either. What a great plot huh? This "interpretation" bit is part of the nurse from hell's little game too. Isn't that amazing? Come on. Say "amazing" one more time for me.
Anyway, he had to give the new tenant the scoop according to his own "covert" assessment of me based on his version of reality which is based on Cheryl F.'s version, slightly altered and delivered "covertly." Now this has allegedly developed because I have accused him "falsely" also of entering my apartment "covertly" and also of "covertly" discussing the mental health and character flaws with other tenants,trades people and his lawyer etc. He had to chuckle as he let the new tenant know,(covertly)that my accusations of his covert behaviour are all just nonsense. He told her also that when she talks to me, she should just leave his conversation with her out of it. ( As you know, many people in these situations like to say, "Listen, no need to let on we had this little conversation. Let's just keep this between you and I.")

Later, she got on the phone (you know ...the one overhead of my table?) to discuss the strange situation between the scary tenant below and the landlord. No doubt there will be more covert operations cooked up to convince everyone that there are no covert operations in this and that I am crazy if I think they are which is why we need all the covert operations in order to get me the "help" I need to give up believing there are any covert operations in this....whew...I am almost out of great after saying that...not to mention"confused." Quick Tell Randall French so he can make contact with my community assessment team and the members can sneak down to my place and press their ears to the door to see if I "think" people are violating my personal boundaries and pressing their ears to the door. Whatever you find out, be sure to pass it along to the law firm of MacElderry and Morris so one of them can tell Frank. B. and Frank can tell "Martin" and "Martin" can tell Dr. Brian F. and H.M. who can tell Rosa, who can tell Grace G. who can tell Mary G., Homewood nurse, who can then tell Myrna G. retirement home nurse and close confidant of the folks at Upsdell's, who can then tell the area lawyers and their employees of anything they may have missed out on this week. OK? But remember. This is all top secret and confidential so don't "let" me "find out" about any of it now.
Hey! I have an idea. Perhaps everyone involved in this could hold a huge meeting somewhere where you can be sure I won't be able to hear anything that is going on, someplace I can't get to on the bus. You could get all of those attending the community assessment session to swear at the door they will not utter a word about it to anyone, so that no one will say "There she is" and announce all the details to me in the town square. Tell them this is all being done to help crazy me let go of the delusional idea that any of this ever happened.

Hmmmmm....This might be a good time for me to point out the effects of indirect and incomplete communication based on gossip mongering and the ongoing isolation of the victim. What do you say we all take a look at this frequent occurrence which is still being denied.

Now, the victim's point of view is that of observing those who are observing HER and who are treating her as if she were not as fully human as they are. This idea of themselves apparently allows them to act out right in front of her "as if" she weren't actually there, in a very contemptuous manner and without ANY direct interaction at all. The effect (which is what I am "at" in this case: please refer to analysis of book read by Jill H.) is that of being made to feel like she is not even a small part of her own reality, but rather that she is being kept out of being a participant in her own life experience. She is then bombarded with partial altered or embellished information, from a few feet away, which is NEVER clarified, resolved nor stopped. Here is an example of a partial announcement, which I will explain carefully in the hope that something will penetrate the group delusion.
Example:
"There she is. That's the woman. They say she really doesn't know apparently."

now, let's look at that in terms of language analysis shall we?
"There she is." When two or more people turn and look right at me and no one else is there, this tends to indicate the "she" identified is me. So that part is fairly obvious then isn't it?
"The woman" The woman who is being identified as what, or whom? Since that part (concrete detail) is unstated, it is next to meaningless.
"They" Who are they? Nurses, cops, Homewood admin.? The folks at the euchre championships at the red Chevron?
"She" is that she , me? Or is it another "she" who doesn't know whatever it is she doesn't know?
"Doesn't know" Doesn't know what exactly?

I would ask, but I am not "allowed" to ask anyone involved at Homewood or anyone in the public or that can be considered more signs of my madness for which 'treatment" may well be deemed as justified.

Have you noticed the constant occurrence of Pi in this at all? Or are you all still pretending to be mystified?