For All of the Local Yokels

Let me put it to you this way; I am not 'the source'(as Dale would say, no doubt with a smirk no one else understood) of ANY of these 14 years worth of rumours or stories, true, half true or otherwise. Everyone else involved is now the collective 'source", starting with him, the guy who started it all in the first place.
I have never been talked to directly about any of this by anyone involved. What I have TRIED to tell them has been endlessly invalidated. You are STILL objectifying me fourteen years later.

By the way, I have sent my ex friend Myrna Goy a nice note, along with the blog address here, where she and others can get all the information they may be missing, which she can also pass along to Mary Goy, who can then share it all with all her co-workers involved at Homewood. Myrna can then continue to keep all the others informed as she has been doing all these years. Stand by Oxford Lodge employees and residents, and Upsdell's staff, Myrna has got her some more news!
I have likewise sent messages to Sharon Klimcosz, Blanche Duffy (former Homewood staff member and former supervisor Comcare) Ilona Rogers, also former Comcare staff now keeping the court offices people informed. Be sure to let Nancy know and the one with the glasses and good hair cut! They need to keep expressing their opinions too. I have sent notices to several other locals as well and a there's a new piece of news: apparently Artie (bus driver) and Jimmy and Dave H. and Tony all have some new details to share, so you might try cross examining them too. One of the newer blond women drivers has heard some news and others are discussing the "they were trying to make her believe she was psychic " version of my reality. The blond woman mentioned is one of the ones who were trying to find out exactly where I lived on a lunch break one day not all that long ago, with two other drivers. That was the day after a different one had stopped her bus when I got off and just sat there trying to see where I went. i believe she shared that attempt with one of the women who works at Riverside Glen (the one who also complained about coming home one day and finding her own landlord looking around in her bedroom)Of course, they STILL don't really get it, but as usual, they 'think' they do.
Anyway, for all the rest of the Guelphites involving themselves, these are the people to pump for more information, OR, you could just make yourself a nice cup of coffee and read all the chaotic poop right here.
Remember though, keep passing all that misinformation, assessments and judgements to everyone you know---while simultaneously denying it, of course.
remember too, the most important emotions for you to express in relation to me are contempt and disdain, while mocking and ridiculing ME as much as you can, for my 'failure' to 'let it go' , 'move on', and let everyone else, 'off the hook."

Remember Dale Tuck's training showed him how to have power over the 'item' of his choice, by creating this outcome as the predictable effects of "it's recreation." get all your jargon down properly now. I have. As his enablers, the most important thing you can do is keep the 'secrets' of Homewood staff and all the others they have involved, so none of them will have to get blamed for anything. That, and of course, blame the victim.

Of course, his leader would likely dispute that by saying it is just the way he 'chose' to hear that. That does not prove the leader MEANT it that way, does it? As I have stated many times this so called training is a demonstration of ITSELF.
This 'game' is about people getting their own way by being 'unreasonable.' It is also about people who 'validate themselves by invalidating the other point of view.' 'It' is about domination, aggressors and victims, manipulated groups and voyeurs in a 'snuff fantasy.'
Whether you hear being 'unreasonable'and the 'effects' it has on others (as demonstrated) as an instruction, revelation, or accusation, as about 'enlightenment' OR 'power,' depends upon what motivates the individual and who that individual REALLY is. For example, the sociopath might decide to use it for power by keeping the concepts hidden.
The abstract 'play' has a generic value. The people involved project INTO that vague fluid structure, their OWN experience of life, beliefs and values and all their own unresolved conflicts as well.They then make judgements about what it is and it's value based upon their subjective view of this, which they kid themselves of course, is really OBJECTIVE.
The contents of the game reads like the DSM or dysfunctional head games, or horoscopes.
It isn't science. It is more like a fortune telling con; or a 'psychic' con.

So I guess this leader is the true 'winner' in this 'game of life' isn't he? Unless of course, he only 'thinks' he's at the top, which is to assume their is no understanding higher than his and no power greater. You know, based upon my own experience, I can't help but suspect there actually IS something higher.
Of course, according to the Homewood staff that got sucked into this con the same as I did, I suffer from 'religiosity', so what would I know?

Catch This ACT

The only way, the only time, my observers and assessors are going to face reality is if, or when, they finally catch THEMSELVES in their ACT. I was labelled for seeing and hearing what those who did it don't want me to see and hear. It is not MY perception and reactions to my own experience with those "others" that is the problem. It is THEIR denial of my accurate perception of my experience with those "Others" that is the problem. So when they get off MY perception and ON their denial, they will begin to 'get it."

It is their idea of me that is their "fantasy," not MY idea of them.

This is what the switched perception at the nexus of meaning is all about. It is this reality which has been flipped around one hundred and eighty degrees that is the starting point of my so called "schizophrenia."
As I said many years ago to those who sat listening every day (while pretending they were not)

"If you pull out the premise, (the starting point) then everything I've said and done AFTER that sounds crazy. Even I can see that."

That is also what I mean by saying, "I have been set up to look like I am insane." Guess who 'set me up" and who was trained in a system whose members believe "setting people up" is acceptable behaviour?

Unfortunately, those who "have ears to hear, yet hear not," are STILL deaf to our mutual reality; but that is because they try to be deaf now. (Although, I hear out here in the world of reality that they are starting to regain consciousness in spite of themselves. The current question being pose by some of them is:
"How are we going to resolve this?"

Answer: You practise what you preach. You take ownership of your OWN thinking and behaviour in all of this, instead of trying to blame your victim's perception of It and reactions to It.

This is how you come Full Circle and return to the point where It all started. You take the last step required for resolution and accept "responsibility." As the A**hole's so called "training" tells us, "It's about responsibility." Then, you "do something about It," You perform your ACT of contrition and you change your OWN minds instead of trying to change mine.

After that, we all start over with new and sane premise; one that works equally well for everyone. Any questions? No?

Well now, why does that not surprise me at all I wonder?

Quick Update in the Community’s Ongoing Assessment of Me

Some of the folks involved in the legal profession have decided that 'at least something good came out of all of this.'

(Really? What is the 'good' that I have received since I am still getting the silent treatment from Homewood Health Centre's Administration? )

Apparently 'they' have said (ad infinitum) ' there is really nothing that anyone can do."

SURE there is and here is a few more suggestions for you. Those of you who are yourselves involved in this all this time and who have not been psychiatrized yourselves (at least, not yet) can do this:

As the police posters say, "You have a voice. Use it."
This idea is good for the police themselves of course. They also are not 'objective bystanders' in this as some of them have played their own role in passing along the gossip just like everyone else. Everybody here needs to come out of denial.

Instead of expressing your opinions of it all to the folks at General emerg., or with lawyers or paramedics or fire fighters etc. simply contact Edgardo Perez, Bill Hamilton, or Brian Furlong ( and all the other really important people) at Homewood, and include them fully in all the community gossip about them, Dale, myself, and the multiple versions of the stories of my 'boyfriend.' (whichever one each of you may have heard about) You see, these people need to get an understanding too. In fact, these people need an understanding more than anyone because these people already think they know everything and, believe me, they don't.

One of the many things they need to know is that my 'delusions' and the whole community's attempt to cover 'it' all up, are, in fact, one and the same; "hallucinated conversations" to me and more juicy denegrating gossip to the rest of you. Same thing. They are not separate, or 'different' realities, and they never have been.

Everyone in this is both cause and effect, not 'or' neatly separated into two distinct yet imaginary groups of "superiors" or "inferiors," cause OR effect, as my protagonist's training has led him by his gullible nose to believe we are.

Dale's targeting of me and getting away with it because of the lack of concrete evidence, and the chaos and confusion created, was a planned and expected outcome. He and I have both seen this before. I've seen it in other groups including relatives and he of course, has seen it in his so called training. My ability to fully understand it and then reveal the plan itself, was NOT part of his plan. I "think" I am a victim because that is what I am, and I am the one MOST in touch with that reality. This is the role I was assigned by Dale in this little "snuff fantasy" as the Columbia Prof referred to it. It is a role a refuse to play on the terms which have been dictated to me by the aggressor(s) and his supporters and enablers. Of course, this is not the way the victim is expected to react. Tough! You people are all playing various roles yourselves; from active participants, to twisted voyeurs enjoying the 'game', to silent bystanders who know what is happening but just stand around and do nothing. That is what Dale's demonstration is really all about. It is just that the victim is expected to "let it go," and give up resolution as impossible. I know that it is NOT impossible. It is just unlikely because the guilty, the ignorant and the deceived involved never want to get caught or blamed for everything. That is why the "no one must be blamed theme song is sung so loud and long. THAT is why this imaginary 'disease' must be "incurable" too. For if it were indeed curable, and not a 'disease' at all, it would mean that those who fight so hard to avoid blame would not be able to avoid it.

1. You can write down what you know about what was done to me. (or even just repeat all those rumours you've been spreading one more time, only this time in writing, and send it to: Edgardo Perez, M.D. and CEO of Homewood Health Centre.
2. Dr, Brian Furlong, Homewood ex-psychiatrist of mine.
3. Dr. Wilson Lit, running the Community Division.
4. Guelph Police Service to the attention of Deputy Chief Brent Eden who has taken over for Don Porterfield in my 'fascinating' case.
5. Crimestoppers (so you can stay 'hidden' and protect your own jobs by not making any open accusations. (waves)
6. You can also send any information directly to me at the e-mail address listed in my profile on the home page of this blog. Just scroll down to the bottom of this page and click on "Home."

This is what anyone and everyone can do.
To the Homewood volunteer who is giving information to that court offices woman and to the U of Guelph couple on the Woodlawn bus. PLease stop 'interpreting' events for them and for any others. Inread contact me directly and let me know in writing what you have heard and in return, I will let you know what I have heard too. Doesn't that sound like some good gossip?


Stop ‘interpreting’ events for them and start ‘interpreting’ them directly to Guelph Police service instead. For though it is rumoured that the ‘fascinating’ case as defined by then, does not even live here any more, “She is still listening to all the stories Homewood staff and all their friends relatives and neighbours are still ‘covertly’ inventing, altering and spreading like manure as always.
Their denial that they have done what they have in fact done, is accomplishing basically two things:

1. It is making them ‘appear’ to be liars to those who have always known what they have done and continue to do.
2. It is causing me to remain under verbal attack by those who believe them and/or who have always believed them.
I, of course, I won’t be offering my personal point of view on this to most people as individuals (for example bus drivers, and passengers, cab drivers, servers at the Bookshelf, clients and their relatives, the shoe guy at the mall, library staff, Martin’s food court workers or grocery store cashiers, to name but a few of the folks always expressing their opinions on me and my experience.
I have already offered it all to those who chose to control and/or ignore me for doing so. They are the ones who need to know about it and those include; Homewood staff and Administration, Comcare Guelph and Kitchener , and the City Police service. My words have not worked on them so now THEY, in particular Homewood , can do all the talking to me. If they don’t, I will just continue talking about them, outside this community, so that the world can observe all this ‘fun’ too. After all, we want everyone to enjoy this fascinating case don’t we?
In Dales’ ‘game’ it is believed that if something isn’t written down it isn’t ‘real.’ Apparently here, even if something IS written down, even when it is written down by dale himself, it still isn’t ‘real’ if Homewood Administration says it isn’t. Maybe if we can all make it real enough for them, they will get it. So, write it all down. That is something you CAN do about It. I have heard all of the same rumours and crapola that all of you have heard and then some. The ‘difference’ between myself and you goes something like this:
When you hear all this crap (which when you are asked about most of you deny inventing and spreading) it is defined as gossip and stories.
When I hear it all, it gets defined as ‘hallucinated conversations’ and paranoid delusions.

Giving the same shared experience (from opposite perspectives) an alternative meaning is what this is all about. In reality, there is no ‘difference’ between you and I, other than the one you manufactured, which is designed to blame the victim and excuse the guilty, the ignorant and the deceived. It’s about responsibility all right; blaming the victims and excusing the aggressors. That is something Thomas Szasz has been saying for decades. I think you can understand why I am more respectful of him than I am of those of you who think of him as ‘the bad boy’ of psychiatry. Once again, good and evil got ‘switched.’

Instead of just spreading more rumours amongst yourselves for another fifteen years, try repeating all of those rumours right back to ‘the source; from whence it all came; Dale T. and all his overly involved, neurotic friends and co-workers at Homewood Health Centre. Or, if no response from them, (there is a lot of flat affect there) just write it all down and e-mail it to me.

This is not a personal psychology problem neatly contained within one person chosen as an identified (or designated) patient with perception/reaction problems. This is about a social, group-think illness, and by 'illness,' I do not mean in the medical sense like group diabetes or asthma. I mean like psycho-spiritual 'illness' that is cured by facing it, owning it and getting past this stupid and childish group behaviour. In other words, this 'mental illness' will disappear when the rest of society grows the hell up.

Understanding Things Like "Understanding"

One of the things that disturbs me in this doctor’s thinking and decision making is that he obviously believes that fact that he IS a doctor should be enough to convince people to accept his ‘interpretation’ of the whole experience. When he later describes being at the point where he could not make sense of it, nor decide whether the leader was a hero or a devil, that is the point of breakdown, or “tearing him down,” as was stated as part of the goal.

I reached very much the same point in my dealings with the ‘game boy’ and his supporters, while under enormous, sustained pressure, which had no parameters at all; such as being contained within a closed training room. That is what happens to people when one of these ‘trainees’ decides he is going to use his ‘experience’ by ‘re-creating it’, out her in the world of reality.

Nevertheless, when I perceived what was being done to me as a battle with the demon ‘Trickster”, a schizophrenic combination of good and evil, creator/destroyer, with evil dominating, MY experience was defined as ‘paranoid delusions and hallucinated conversations.”

The difference in ‘assessments’ of the same experience appears to me to have a lot more to do with WHO we are perceived to be by others, then WHAT we are perceiving .

I should also say that I am not as impressed by ‘doctors’ as many of them seem to be of themselves, so this particular ‘trainee’ being a doctor doesn’t convince me to accept his view of the reality of this, especially since he seems to miss an important point made in his own ‘training,
“Reality is that which you experience; it is NOT defined by either ‘authority’ (which he seems to be suggesting he is) or by ‘group consensus” which everyone in my case seems to think mine should be. Dr. Mengele was also a doctor, and we frequently hear how astounded everyone is that “bona fide psychiatrists” and others in Nazi Germany could have been fooled or manipulated into doing what they did. I sometimes think if I hear the words “bona fide doctors” again, I will scream. I question everything that doesn’t seem right to me, whether a doctor thinks all is just hunky dory or not. That of course, is why I am considered by some of them to be so ‘difficult’ and ‘non compliant.’

There is a point made here which is rarely seen and that is; we all have a tendency to look for reason in the “unreasonable” – even doctors. Some doctors are also pretty talented when it comes to looking for the unreasonable in the reasonable when they are habituated to doing so. That is why, especially for some, this ‘switch’ works so effectively. Just ask Dale T. the presumed ‘reasonable’ one. He can explain that as well as I can. It is just that he doesn’t want to since his power is based on keeping the concepts of his training a ‘secret.’ It is about a hidden agenda of domination. What is no longer ‘hidden’ is no longer powerful.

Do you get that? He is the “power’ side of the paradigm and I am the ‘enlightenment’ side. If you still can’t wrap your well educated heads around this, I will write out the same words from me to Dale which will become an accurate accusation when I use them and a revelation to those of you watching the action. He hears them as an instruction, I think and we could prove that if all of you would just stop pretending you didn’t do anything, and that you don’t know anything.