Who to Pump in Guelph for More Juicy Gossip

You could check with psych students at U. of G. who have told each other (as well as the student population outside of psych.) to see if they already know that I was repeating everything the Homewood staff was saying right back to them. All of the staff there know this too of course, and HAVE known since long before I broke down under pressure.

The public also knows and that I knew what Dale was doing, and that Dale knew that I knew. Some of them are now calling HIM and some of his supporters “twisted.” His “Pyrrhic Victory” just keeps right on going doesn’t it? I wonder how much worse Homewood will allow it to get before they decide to put their so called ‘ethics’ where their mouth is, own it, apologize for it, make amends for what they have done and get past it?
Don’t hold your breath waiting for this. I expect that if this Administration can find a way to weasel out of responsibility for it that is exactly what they will do. As Dr. Phil likes to say, 'the best predictor of future behaviour is past behaviour.'
(Except that he says it without the 'u')
I imagine if they can find more ways to blame their victim, then that is exactly what they will do.
Some students have suggested that I am more like a ‘social psychologist.’ (Unless of course my own name is not my own name but just another ‘sign.’) Do you think that might be it oh great Homewood doctors?

Speaking of blaming the victim, you really must locate Suzanne Keating. You can’t top this gal for gossip and connections to more gossip and intrusion. She was like Dale’s right hand helper she was. She has a bachelor’s degree in Sociology so ask her to explain the Homewood group behaviour to you. In particular ask her to explain her OWN behaviour as a supporter and enabler of Dale and ask her what she did without having any inkling that what dale was using her for was actually part of his own social experiment and manipulation for power.

See if you can find out from Homewood who said recently (within the last few months) that he believes ‘she thinks she has to suffer.” Since NO ONE has yet to discuss any of this directly with me they don’t know what that means you see) where is ‘his’ assessment coming from exactly. Is it dear old dad’s opinion again? (not that he does this of course!)

FYI: I don’t think I need to suffer at all. I think that YOU people need to think you know what I think, because if you can decide that FOR me, as is your chronic reaction, you can then justify ignoring me or invalidating me and excusing yourselves by blaming me for the negative results to me. It is part of making what you lack, my ‘need’ to have it this way, and that is also about psychiatry’s need to redefine social sickness, as an individual’s sickness, neatly contained within the identified patient. It is all part of the group’s self serving thought processes.

Which of the bus drivers had a personal awakening when he said, “I went to pick up the radio to report what I had heard, when it suddenly dawned on me what I was doing.”

Students on the street at the end of February 2007 say that a ‘he’ is now demanding that they acknowledge her and apologize to her.”
(Notice how well that worked with the unethical) It was also said it would take at least two months. (this is now July) The silence towards me continues even as the denigrating gossip and group judgement rages on.

Was the Library staff told not to discuss their patrons anymore with other patrons?
One of the psych patients who broke down after going through the training similar to that of Dale’s also knows one of the town addicts who has enjoyed mouthing off about me and AT me I St. George’s Square. How many people have been told by the university so far that it is ‘all right there’ and perfectly obvious?’
Some patrons of the Library have discussed the meaninglessness of my job and reputation loss (By Homewood’s force) by proclaiming that I should be sick of my job by now anyway! The woman excusing this offered as ‘proof’ of HER ‘righteousness” that she was sure SHE would be by now!

It is announced that I and someone else, “agree on everything except the way patients are treated. They are going in opposite directions on this.’
(Perhaps that is because I AM the patient and the other is not) It is also said that Homewood “is looking for a way AROUND this even though they know everyone is talking about it.” (Perhaps this should show us all what their true goal is, and that it is NOT resolution or owning their own behaviour. It has also been announced publicly that ‘they were experimenting with her.”
Ask Jackie, the head shaver’s relative, what information she and the blond woman got from the bus driver that evening a few weeks ago. If you can’t find Jackie, just stand in the square or go down to the Welcome In drop in centre as you can also get a lot of gossip and opinions down there.

Now if you aren’t satisfied there, you can also come back up the hill and go into Community Health to pump a number of people there as well like; Cynthia H. Gerry, Paula, Goldie, or the gray haired guy (therapist?) who works downstairs there. He too has pointed me out to many people on the streets as I walked by (That’s her!)
You will have to ask him of course which VERSION of my reality He has. I never actually know with anyone as I am still the object of assessment to one and all and not a person.

Down at Old Quebec you could also ask Vincent T. (artist) for his version and perhaps ask at Pharma Plus which version they got from Cordelia. Both of these people have also done the ‘there she is; that’s her there’ bit for me, in my presence.

Also, if you could find the woman who sells the salt lamps in winter in a centre aisle display, she will have some information for you. Failing that, ask Terry MacIntosh, from Community Health what information she passed along to him.

Now there are a number of people at Riverside Glen you can pump for more. Many of them have expressed their opinion of me, and although they arte not aware of it since I haven’t actually shared it, I also have an opinion of many of them.
Sara for example, who was working in the kitchen there was also one of the servers in the Homewood dining room while I was being observed and assessed by all of the staff there. She has shared her contemptuous opinion with Sushil who works (or worked) for both Riverside and the Elliot. (At least two staff members from both places have also claimed that their sloppy work was really my work though I am not supposed to ‘find out’ about that. I have been a handy excuse for a number of people actually.)
You could also pump other staff members at Riverside including Sharon R. (formerly of Comcare also) for what she has heard and shared with others. She may have retired now but if so, you could also ask Catherine U. what Sharon told her. Catherine also would have some good gossip from the Elliot where she worked someone’s pregnancy leave for a year and got her ears filled by the staff that was spreading rumours there supplied in part by the three or four former Homewood staff members involved in all the ‘fun’ who now work there. There is lots and lots of opportunity to find gossip in Guelph ; virtually anywhere. Oh yes, me new neighbour’s daughter works in the kitchen there and the kitchen staff did lots of acting out for me the last times I was there. If you can’t locate this particular kitchen staff member, maybe you could just ask those living in senior citizens; housing to fill you in on the latest as it is currently up for endless discussion there as well. Even at the bus stops again. My, I have had a lot of opinion of me acted out at bus stops for many years. Apparently if they drop their eyes and talk out of the sides of their mouths, they too are rendered invisible. I think they should all be Homewood nurses. They have the talent for it.

Also ask the aid that has been at Riverside for many years. (I heard that she is doing some hours at Homewood now too which may or may not be accurate news) If this is true though, she should have some juicy new gossip out of there. She is the one who was asked by another staff member on the bus a week in March this year to express her opinion of me also. Whatever the opinion was, (which I didn’t hear when they bent together conspiratorially) they shared a good life over it.
I also have some good tales to share about Riverside staff in relation to my experience with some of them, but that will have to wait for a little later when I pass along some really good laughs to the world. (When I do you must remember not to show anger as then I will have to ask you where your ‘sense of humour’ went.)

Say, did you know that one of the many ‘hes’ involved says that ‘very few people would have been able to recover from’ what I was put through, ‘let alone find a solution for it?’ That’s the word on the street. That’s what all the sane people are saying. Of course, it is also said that some say I live in the States now, so we always have to take the word on the street with a large grain of salt now don’t we?

A labeled woman started muttering angrily away at me as soon as I moved to my new apartment. Already, the versions of reality are flying all over the property…I can barely keep away from it no matter how studiously I am trying to ignore it. Anyway, back to Muttering Minnie. What struck me about this woman was how damned similar this woman’s behaviour is to that of Homewood staff. Only the labels really let us know who is who. She has muttered to the air that she believes the reason I recovered is because (and I’m not making this Up) ‘ Homewood was so nice to her. ‘She also muttered the suggestion that if Homewood had been as nice to her as they were to me, SHE may have recovered better too. (Either that or she would still be stark raving mad all the time)

Back to more names of people to pump for information:
As I have said my neighbour’s daughter works in the kitchen at the Elliot. A great many negative opinions were expressed abut me there and some great rumours were also invented there to back them up. Of course, it didn’t help any that one of the former Homewood employees on the night shift one day informed the rest of the staff that I had been ‘insane.’’ After that, they were all peering suspiciously at me as they walked by, some of them doing some muttering of their own, as they looked for more signs and symbols of madness in me. They found more after Sue K , Paula F., Nancy F. (not her married initial) and Diane T. (now Dale’s wife) ‘explained’ me to the rest of the staff. You might also ask some of my other new neighbours for their latest version of my reality. I am still pointed out to many as ‘not very friendly’ and none of them of curse can imagine why. “Mike” who now lives in the building next to mine would be a good person to ask. He is always sharing the latest with people and has some long ongoing contacts in this saga, receiving and passing gossip about it for the whole run. He has lots of bus driver version. Oh yes, and also check out another one that works at the mall food court A & W. She can get you the dope from the Martins’ cleaning staff I’m sure and she has also been seen talking to one of the people who way back in 94/95 discussed how is was thought to be ‘psychic.’

This woman was also recently discussing me with a group of women at the bus stop near our common area and it is the opinion of one of them, her face screwed up with the usual contempt and disdain, that “Maybe people would treat her better if she talked more.” (the old ‘I am not nice enough to THEM’ routine again. Notice how often it is some version of this ‘I wouldn’t be treating you this way if you didn’t deserve it” bit? This is the standard of dysfunctional relating. It is how it is kept going. No one notices that these women are totally out of line and part of the reason for that is that while they act out like this, they believe they are somehow ‘’hidden’. This happens daily. I get disdain and contempt at four feet away, then often a saccharine smile at two feet. Now I see them and now I don’t.) The next time I saw the disdainful one at the bus stop she was alone so she would not look at me at all and said nothing. I ignored her back but I think she was going to wait to see if I was going to cater to her judgments. I’m not. So when she got on the bus, she complained to my neighbour who was already on it abut my lack of friendliness again. These poor poor long suffering women like her. Oh how they are suffering with MY attitude and they have no idea why do they?
(Strangely, I have no desire to talk to this judgmental woman at all. I guess that must be art of my personality disorder mustn’t it? Well you know I can’t help what my bad brain is making me do now can I?) Of course these women don’t understand that it is ALSO the judgement of some that I would be treated better if I STOPPED talking and just let it all go. Pretty much of a double bind there isn’t it?
(Notice how the ‘switch’ is maintained in this? It is not these angry faced boundary violating gossips who have the problem in this, oh no. It is my failure to give them what they want that is causing them (or others) to treat me the way they do. This is the familiar dysfunctional reversal with a sidestepping of responsibility which also just happens to be like ‘game boy’s covert training.
Some of my new neighbours are angry since ‘if I am a millionaire,’ then ‘what the hell am I doing living here?” I have heard that many of these people are far better off than I am and have jumped the queue (so to speak) to push past those in real need to get where they are. Another interesting reversal isn’t it? They also wonder why a millionaire like me ‘claims’ she has no money and did not even have a couch to sit in.
You will love this next act.
Two of Guelph ’s observers, (one of them psychiatrized himself) waited to observe me at the corner of Speedvale and Delhi one day in March this year. The one about six feet tall or so (fat with dark brown straight hair and as always with a backpack) decided that I wasn’t really a transvestite (one of the rumours in which I was confused with ‘Didi” I believe) as I looked like a woman to him. The guy he was with was smirking as usual like the moron he appears to be. I have also heard the townsfolk’s opinions on Didi by the way (although I believe that Didi has left this life as a result of much of this) NEWSFLASH! saw Didi on the bus in November of 2007. So this death too has been highly exaggerated. I beleive this one also came form out of the mouth of a Housing resident when I heard that) I assume that as much as I have heard, Didi (being the subject) got to hear a whole lot more and also got to watch all of those hate filled faces expressing those opinions.

If you would like to check on the public opinion of my sexual identity, just look for backpack man who is hanging around the square every day.

Blondie with the upsweep, who now also works for Homewood I believe as one of the new lay ACTors, (the Twelve new Apostles for the psychiatric faith) cocks her head at me to another guy the gray haired one I see frequently coming out of the housing building on Delhi) and they share a frequently observed smirk together. DO find Blondie or just ask the Homewood cleaning lady from Hamilton 3 who was involved I this way back then and who now also lives in housing on Delhi . Why she probably ‘socializes’ about it with the seniors there which would explain why I get to hear their opinions on the buses somewhat too. Ask that one what she shared as the gossip with Rosie R. who now works with Dave in shipping receiving.
One of the new ACT workers was heard discussing a ‘case’ with a guy in the square. It sounded strangely like my own ‘fascinating case.’ I think she may be the one who got fired when some of the psychiatrized “claimed’’ that she was getting herself let into their apartments without their knowledge or consent.

David, who lives at the Matrix building I believe and likes to share his opinion of others with many, could be asked what he has heard. If you can’t find him there, you can also check the Library.

Ask bus drivers Artie and Jimmy who it is that has been ‘demanding we give her some help.’ (Of course, whenever I hear the word ‘help’ I know it as a nexus word that does not necessarily mean the same kind of ‘help’ to all who hear it. I once asked for help and what I got instead was a whole lot of ‘help.’) Also ask them to tell you who was ‘shocked’ when they told ‘him’ that I already knew everything.

Now a really GOOD gossip to ask is the woman that I call ‘The Drone.’ (this is as in , “on and on she drones…’’) She passes along all the latest gossip, mostly derogatory, all day, every day, and I have been one of her favourite topics for quite some time. You will know her by her non stop opinions, spoken out loud even if she is alone. Some people think she is talking to them but really she is just talking to the air in front of her and hoping someone will engage with her so she can say more. She also engages total strangers to her in reacting to her opinions as well as psychiatrized people. Mrs. Butinsky calls this her ‘volunteer work.’ If you look closely at Mrs. Butinsky, you will notice that when she is droning on and on, the focus of her eyes stops just before it reaches the end of her own nose. This is because Mrs. Butinsky’s all time favourite listener is Mrs. Butinsky herself. She also likes to flip her hair frequently. She is the one her ‘learned her lesson’ when she got caught gossiping about me in front of someone who actually knows me for a change. I don’t know which ‘lesson’ she learned, since her denigrating gossip continues as always, often while I, the woman she is such an expert on sits near her listening to it,. You will have to ask her for the answer to that one. So, if you can manage to connect with her, she is sure to be an endless source of crap for you. Do tell Myrna G.

The employees of Homewood have apparently diagnosed me again recently as having an ‘attitude’ problem. “What they do with problems is hand them to someone else.” Ask Dale T. what that means in this case. It is out of his training concepts and the sort of thing that I believe causes him to smirk knowingly. His training is about ‘knowing’ you see. Pump as many Homewood employees as you can since they have created many stories since the original event. One of the latest rumours making the rounds is a story someone made up about how I am so stupid that I ironed all of someone’s clothes inside out and the poor woman had to turn everything right side out before she could put them on. Several seniors have been passing this fairy tale around, as they sit smirking and making themselves feel better while they do it. This is a frequent demonstration to me that many people grow old but never grow up. This is one of many stories they have created which helps them to justify themselves. There are also several (contradictory as hell too) relating to my supposed sexuality.
It is too bad say some, that my mystery relationship which everyone EXCEPT me has been in is not going to work out, but, they are also of the opinion that I am too ‘high maintenance anyway’ (since I am so ‘intense’ for some and ‘a whack job’ for others.)
I want you all to keep in mind as you read this that I am never talked to directly by any of these people, and that all of this acting out is denied and reframed as my paranoid delusions and hallucinated conversations etc. Keep on telling yourselves this as you yap and yap and yap in that non existent way that you do. “Mutt and Jeff’ (a downtown pair who have discussed this with the Vin Joy shoe guy also), proclaim it all to be a ‘saga. ’ It just keeps going on and on…of course, as Dale T. could tell you, that is the ‘’ongoing nature’’ of the training. If you don’t ‘get it’ that is exactly what it does until or unless “you DO something about it.’’ So see if you can find these two. One of them is tall and gray and the other short thin and middle Eastern looking.
Do find teen gossip Walker H. he has his own version of this which I would think he have likely received from his mother. If you can’t find this teen ask Donna L. what he told her about it. Neither of them actually understands it but they believe that they do so that makes it interesting.

Ask the guys who work for Workfare here; Roman (seen in paper once) and his two buddies; the overweight guy with the glasses and bearded guy. They have all been expressing their highly amused opinions on all of this going all the way back to when they were gossiping about it in the food court at the old Eaton Centre. They, like the boys from McElderry and Morris, who also sat close by at noon when I went there for a coffee, observed me after I had been forced out of my job by Homewood and was coerced back INTO the mental illness system in 99 for trying to show my ex psychiatrist that the same people were at it again and never shut their bloody mouths. Andy S. was also there in those days so be sure to find all of them. The Workfare group has been asked recently by someone if they have ever seen me.